Thursday, May 9, 2013

Jacksta B's guide to being less sensitive

artist here
I wrote this blog post last year but never pressed publish? So today I will. 

I have been meaning to do a blog post on this subject for a while. And then an incident reminded me of it. I was at a book store and bumped into a former member of our church, an elderly lady. I said "hi" to be nice and she makes a comment about my hair, she didn't like it. It made me look "old". I just ignored it and changed the subject to something else then moved on rather quickly. As I thought about it, I was a little bit miffed. But not in the way you might think. You see her comments although rude and a bit too forthright didn't bother me...but I thought what if she had said that to someone else..someone more would they feel.

You see stuff like that is water off a ducks back to me. I grew up around relatives and acquaintances who were all too ready to tell you "you are too skinny, too fat, I don't like what you are wearing..." You name it I have probably heard it. And for a time these words may have hurt a little...but I have never let them overcome me.
In general I have good self esteem and an air of confidence about how I look and live my life. I'm carrying around a few extra kgs, but who isn't. And now that I have a daughter I want to ensure that I am role modeling a similar feeling in my daughter. I want her to be confident in who she is.
Maybe you get down when people make comments about the way you look or live your life. So here are a few thoughts about becoming less sensitive.

What you say is what you feel.
I remember when I was growing up, when I observed my mother getting herself ready in the mirror, not once did she ever say out loud..."I'm looking fat...or I don't like this or that". Never. She just put her make up on, dressed the best for the day and got on with it. She always thought of her self as beautiful. So cut out the negative talk on yourself first.

Perfection doesn't exist.
Hollywood has us drawn to the celebrities enticing us to want to look like them. But just because they look great doesn't mean they are perfect. Naomi Campbell has an anger problem, many of them have drug addictions and are desperately unhappy with themselves. As soon as you realise you are most likely not destined for the cat walk...and look normal like the other 99% of us in the world, the sooner you can accept your self.

People say stupid stuff.
There are just some people in life who don't know how to filter their thoughts before they say them. Just recognize it for what it is and move on. I have a particular Uncle who is bad for this. Just no insight into how someone might feel after his verbal diarrhea hits the atmosphere. They just don't realise. If you are confident enough with who you are...just hit them up about it. Tell them they being rude and you don't appreciate their comments.

Learn to laugh at your self. This is so important. You can't take everything so seriously.

Some people just won't like you.
It ridiculous to think that everyone in the world will like you.  For those of you that have the need to be liked, you'll just have to get over this one. There will always be someone who doesn't like the way you dress, the way you talk, your shade of lippy. Who cares!

Practice being sensitive to other people.
You reap what you sow. If you are kind to others, most of the time people will be the same back. Focusing on the needs of others gets your thoughts off yourself.

The only thing that matters is how God feels about you.
When I have borne the brunt of other peoples hurtful words...I always remember what God thinks of me. He says He made me and loves me unconditionally. That I was worth dying for, and my value as a person comes from Him NOT what other think or say about me.

So grow some balls and don't let people make you feel like crap.

  “Do not give in too much to feelings. A overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth.” 
~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Gail said...

Oh Jacksta, you are FULL of wisdom! Love this post - straight to the point, helpful and definitely something to grasp onto.
I too had to learn (thanks Grandma) to deal with that kind of abruptness.
Am also so aware of what cues I'm putting out there for my kids.... that pick up on everything. EVERYTHING.

Widge said...

love it Jacksta! You are one awesome chick.
totally needed a kick in the pants in this area :)
I love that I can here your voice in your posts now.

Meghan at MNM's said...

Brilliant stuff Jacksta. Love it.

Tall Pipi said...

Awesome Jackie. I don't consider myself particularly sensitive generally but I think there's still and couple of great reminders there. You are so wise!

Miriam said...

great post. I'd also add try to read people from their best intentions rather than worst - it doesn't change the situation but it totally changes how you feel about it.
e.g Someone cut you off in traffic? read it as oh no they probably feel embarrassed and terrible, I know how that feels, I've done it before. Rather than arrogant so and so... changes the whole way you feel

Simoney said...

This is a brilliant post Jackie!
One of the best I've read (anywhere) this week - I love how you are so "YOU".
Luv ya!

PaisleyJade said...

LOVE!!! Awesome post - love you and the way you live life!!

Leonie said...

awesome post Jacksta!!!

Neetz said...

So true and such brilliant advice ;) xx

runnergirl said...

Jackie you are a gem! This post is great and so true! thanks xx

Weza said...

nice work Jacksta. this is a great straight uppost. xx

Rachel Osborne said...

Thanks for this Jackie, I was actually just thinking about how much I admired your no-nonsense style at the bloggy thingy... I need to borrow some of your confidence and backbone :) I'll give it back after, I promise!! xx

Clare said...

Preach it, sister!!

Monica Williams said...

Oh a woman of wise words indeed. This is a post every 15yr old girl should read.

Renee said...

This post is just Amazing!! I agree with Monica, this is something every young person needs to read!!

Kelly McLuckie said...

Jackie not only was this a great post, but it's also been an interesting insight into how you tick.

I couldn't help thinking back to high school and the relevance of this post to so many teenage girls :) xxx