Friday, May 17, 2013

I was brave

I was brave.

I was brave when it was decided that I would be the only one to go with you to Star-Ship Hospital because Dadda had to stay home to work.

I was brave when we set off that morning for the two hour drive to Auckland.

I was brave when I had to figure out exactly where in the inner city  we had to drive to.

I was brave when I had to lug you and all the things we would need for the afternoon on a push chair and all the way through the biggest hospital in NZ just to find the right ward.

I was brave when I realized this place was completely different and new compared to the the day stay surgery unit that I remembered from last year.

I was brave when lunch time came and went because I couldn't eat in front of you while you were nil by mouth.

I was brave when you started to get a little grumpy since it was now your nap time and you were hungry too.

I was brave when they said it was finally your turn and we had to go the theatre.

I was brave when the surgeon came to talk to me and I tried to make him see that things needed fixing.

I was brave when I had to gown up and take you to the operating theater, and put you on their table with so many machines and new equipment I hadn't seen before.

I was brave when the Anesthetist put the gas mask over your mouth to put you to sleep.

I was brave when the surgeon rang me later to tell me that I was right, things did need repairing and it had been a lot more complicated than he had thought.

I was really brave then.

I bravely held back the tears as I texted Dadda who was sad he couldn't be there with me.

I was brave when I found you in recovery all sleepy and so small in such a big bed.

I was brave when I decided it was best for both of us if we drive home that night 2 hours just so you could recover in a familiar environment.

I was brave when my head hurt and I was so tired and all I wanted to do was just get home for the both of us and into our nice cosy beds.

And because I was brave, so were you. 

You were brave driving all the way there. You were brave when we had to talk to Nurses and Doctors. You were brave when they put you to sleep, you didn't even cry! You were brave when you woke up out of your anesthetic, again not even a single tear. You were brave and slept all the way home and all night. And today even though it hurts you are playing with  the new toys I bought to keep you occupied yesterday.

We were brave!

{thank you for your prayers....the number one reason I was brave was the amazing peace of God}


Unknown said...

Well done - what a brave mama!!!!

Clare Hubbard said...

That is so precious ~ what an awesome mama you are!

Stella said...

Oh wow, this gave me goosebumps. Arohanui xxx

Leonie said...

Miriam said...

beautiful post xxxx sometimes we can be brave because the people we love need us to be xxx sounds like you both did wonderful work xx

Widge said...

Good on you lovely xxx

TracyP said...

You are brave and beautiful and amazing xxx

Rachel Kate said...

Beautiful post Jackie :) sending you a cyber hug!!

PaisleyJade said...


Miss Becky-Boo said...

Really really brave Jacks.

Tall Pipi said...

Gorgeous post, Jackie. xxx

Johnny said...


Renee said...

Such an Awesome mamma!! Beautifully put!!

Meghan Maloney Photography said...

What a massive day for you to have to brave through. And you did it! Great work. Hope Zakzak reads this in later years and thinks what an awesome mama he has xx

Neetz said...

Love you mate <3 Hope he's doing well xxx

Brigitte said...

Well done Mamma! Bless your dear little man - thank you Jesus for the amazing peace he gave you XX