Monday, May 16, 2011

Losing my identity?


Seven years ago I entered into a new identity. It wasn't new for the universe, but it was new for me. At 22 years old we added to our family of two another little being. Our very own, half him and half me. Up until this point my life was being a wife, a Jesus lover, being a work colleague, being a sister, a daughter, a friend, a worship vocalist, a caffeine and food lover, music lover, a loud laugher, a movie buff....these and many more made up my identity, and the essence of who I was.
My how my life changed when Miss Joy came along and I became a new mother, a new role. Apprehensively I read all the books, gleaned as much information from my older wiser mother friends and set off on this road of discovery of the new me.
Did I lose my identity when I assumed this new role? I think not. I am still all the above things, the essence of who I am has not changed since I became a mother. My life is now even more enriched and the essence of who I am has been added to and enlarged. I am now also a teacher, an encourager, a- ready-for-anything-at-any-hour-of-the-night-machine! I am stronger and more assertive. I can dance in the face of adversity. I can negotiate with tiny terrors and make a boo boo better with a kiss and a cuddle.

Mothering is a tricky and precarious place to be sometimes. Lost in the mundane of nappies, never ending hungry tummies to feed and constant emotional tugging, our children can consume our lives- if we let them. But what then when they hit 18 and move out. What will we be then? If our lives are constantly revolved around them and they move on in life, what will we do with our selves? Where do we find our identity again?
My advice is never lose it in the first place. Continue to do the things you love and be who you are.
I will continue in my quest to find the perfect plate of food, the most amazing cup of coffee, the funniest joke to laugh at, and the next great movie. I will continue to give my best at work. I will continue to pursue Jesus. I will continue to be a loving wife, loyal friend and great family member.
Don't let the essence of who you are get lost because you are a mother, instead let it grow you and enhance you to an even better woman.

10 comments:

Arna said...

Good stuff!! You're awesome! :D x

Arna said...

in fact - this deserves two comments. Couldn't of said it better myself!

PaisleyJade said...

Perfectly awesome. Something that many of us take a while to figure out too.

lesmondj said...

Love you my courageous, laugh out loud, movie loving foodie, caffeine freak, super mum and awesome wife! I'm sure you will still have a few surprises for me after 10 years of marriage. Like who knew you could swim so well???

Katie said...

This is great - exactly what I need to hear at this moment in my life. Thankyou :-)

Simoney said...

Great Post Jacksta!
Very wise words there :)
x

Mon said...

Oh Amen sister, well said! I love your hubbies comment too...how cute!

Rachel Kate said...

:) such an inspiration xo

KendylsPlace said...

Super great advice Jacksta! Too many women seem to forget who they are when they become a Mum, and 'Mum' becomes their identity - makes me nervous to ever become a Mum!!

Meghan at MNM's said...

Yee ha girl. You've put into words a very universal truth that all mums need to take on board! Too often we feel guilty for keeping any semblance of self in the mix thinking that we must be martyrs to be mums. So NOT true!

Wise words - loved it :-)