I have been following a blogger called Miriam for a wee while now...and who I had the privilege to meet in real life recently. And I have admired a certain blog linky of hers from afar. I say "a far" because I never felt I could post anything worth while on her linky. You see the linky is "Becoming the mama I wanna Be (BMWB) and for some strange reason I feel that somehow I don't measure up in this area. The famous "mother guilt" rears its ugly head to the point where I am afraid to even put my self in the same category as someone like Miriam...who from afar...seems like such a wonderful mama.
And its not just her...other mothers in my church and wider social network... all seem to have it together...while I muddle along hoping and willing that my children will turn out okay and not need therapy when they grow up. I see bloggers who take time to do dress ups and colour coded meal themes while I'm here just trying to make it through a dinner time with out losing my cool because the two year old has put his drink into his dinner...again. Others who leave little love notes in their kids lunch boxes...while my kids are now making their own lunches. Other mothers who take time to play with paints and crafts...while I leave it all in the cupboard so my kitchen table doesn't get messy.
I constantly feel frazzled, impatient and quickly get angry.
And while I don't rate myself as bad mother...I'm not great either. I would call my self a "Slightly Better than Mediocre" parent.
So I have been pondering about this BMWB situation. Perhaps instead of feeling inadequate about my parenting..what if I was inspired to be a better parent instead. And instead of feeling guilty about things I don't do...somehow try and figure out what kind of parent I DO want to be.
So I began to ponder some things about Becoming the Mama I Want to Be. And I kept finding myself thinking about "how I want my kids to be", which isn't the objective here. So here are somethings I'm going to try and work on in ME.
# Be a good listener instead of ignoring them
# Try and stay calm instead of getting angry
# Be encouraging instead of discouraging
# Be a better teacher instead of saying "go ask your father".
# Smile more instead of having a grumpy face
# Take more time to have fun.
# Make sure my kids feel loved, protected and cared for.
# Be more intentional and purposeful with my parenting.
Obviously I'm not going to change over night...but I'm happy to be a work in progress.
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| miss joy {2003} |
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| Joe {2006} |
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| Zak zak {2010} |
7 comments:
I love this post and especially the last photo of you! The BMWB series for me is exactly that, doing small things so I can start to be more what I want to be as a mama - not what I think I should be, not perfect, just on the journey to being a bit more the kind of mama I want to be. Small steps, daily choices. Thanks so much for your honesty and for joining up. xx
Jacksta!!! The fact that your kids ARE making their own lunches is something that I admire!!! I've been giving myself stick that its still another job I'm having to do myself because I cant be bothered with the mess the kids will make (or the fact they are not self disciplined enough to take any fruit or sandwiches if they did make their own!
and like I said, your friday fun days have been on my mind for weeks.
don't be too hard on yourself cos i think you're awesome xx
Oh man - I think you are such an amazing mum! I too have admired you forgetting your kids to make their own lunches, and I love the way you are with your kids. I've been using the 'go ask your father' a lot lately, so you've definitely inspired me here. Xk
Whoops - not forgetting but *getting
Haha
I haven't seen you as a Mama but I have seen you as a friend in daily life. And I think you rock. You are awesome and I loved being around you. So I can only imagine that your kids think the same xxx
Hey you! I think we can be our own worst critics sometimes....and it makes me think of that saying 'there is no way to be a perfect mum but a million ways to be a good one'. You are a GREAT mum and you're doing a few of those million things each and every day xx
Why I think you're a great Mum:
Your kidslook healthy & happy.
You have Friday fun days.
You throw birthday parties solo
Your kids make their own lunches.
You video them doing Irish dancing.
You make time for yourself.
Love ya xxx.
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