Jacksta B's guide to being less sensitive

artist here

I wrote this blog post last year but never pressed publish? So today I will. 

I have been meaning to do a blog post on this subject for a while. And then an incident reminded me of it. I was at a book store and bumped into a former member of our church, an elderly lady. I said "hi" to be nice and she makes a comment about my hair, she didn't like it. It made me look "old". I just ignored it and changed the subject to something else then moved on rather quickly. As I thought about it, I was a little bit miffed. But not in the way you might think. You see her comments although rude and a bit too forthright didn't bother me...but I thought what if she had said that to someone else..someone more sensitive...how would they feel.

You see stuff like that is water off a ducks back to me. I grew up around relatives and acquaintances who were all too ready to tell you "you are too skinny, too fat, I don't like what you are wearing..." You name it I have probably heard it. And for a time these words may have hurt a little...but I have never let them overcome me.
In general I have good self esteem and an air of confidence about how I look and live my life. I'm carrying around a few extra kgs, but who isn't. And now that I have a daughter I want to ensure that I am role modeling a similar feeling in my daughter. I want her to be confident in who she is.
Maybe you get down when people make comments about the way you look or live your life. So here are a few thoughts about becoming less sensitive.

What you say is what you feel.
I remember when I was growing up, when I observed my mother getting herself ready in the mirror, not once did she ever say out loud..."I'm looking fat...or I don't like this or that". Never. She just put her make up on, dressed the best for the day and got on with it. She always thought of her self as beautiful. So cut out the negative talk on yourself first.

Perfection doesn't exist.
Hollywood has us drawn to the celebrities enticing us to want to look like them. But just because they look great doesn't mean they are perfect. Naomi Campbell has an anger problem, many of them have drug addictions and are desperately unhappy with themselves. As soon as you realise you are most likely not destined for the cat walk...and look normal like the other 99% of us in the world, the sooner you can accept your self.

People say stupid stuff.
There are just some people in life who don't know how to filter their thoughts before they say them. Just recognize it for what it is and move on. I have a particular Uncle who is bad for this. Just no insight into how someone might feel after his verbal diarrhea hits the atmosphere. They just don't realise. If you are confident enough with who you are...just hit them up about it. Tell them they being rude and you don't appreciate their comments.

Learn to laugh at your self. This is so important. You can't take everything so seriously.

Some people just won't like you.
It ridiculous to think that everyone in the world will like you.  For those of you that have the need to be liked, you'll just have to get over this one. There will always be someone who doesn't like the way you dress, the way you talk, your shade of lippy. Who cares!

Practice being sensitive to other people.
You reap what you sow. If you are kind to others, most of the time people will be the same back. Focusing on the needs of others gets your thoughts off yourself.

The only thing that matters is how God feels about you.
When I have borne the brunt of other peoples hurtful words...I always remember what God thinks of me. He says He made me and loves me unconditionally. That I was worth dying for, and my value as a person comes from Him NOT what other think or say about me.

So grow some balls and don't let people make you feel like crap.

  “Do not give in too much to feelings. A overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth.” 

~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe