Fresh Sea Air

Time for a little school holiday fresh air. 

A walk along the town basin. Whangarei

No time limit.

No rushing to be anywhere else. 

Just here. 

In the moment. 

New camera ready in hand.

Until that moment starts to sound like a screeching tired two year old... then it's time to go home! 

{wait for me}

{Me too}

{I can't do it}

{I still can't do it! }

 {Thank you sister}

{"Its a pirate"
...okay!?}

{I'll help you up}

{cheese}

{The waka}

{Town Basin Whangarei}

End of an Era

{barefoot and pregnant #3}

So as of this week, my uterus has officially shut up shop.

I was excited leading up to it, with my mind focused on the clinical learning I could take back to my nursing practice. It would be good for me to feel what my patients feel I assured myself.

I was excited about the prospects of never having to worry about contraception. Ever. Again.  

No more sleepless nights, no more birth stories, no more pregnancy snoring.

No. More.

I thought I would have the champagne already chilled, ready to crack open when I got home from the hospital,

But the nausea and pain sure put an end to that idea.

Instead opting for an early night that proceeded to be the worst  interrupted sleep ever.

I thought I would be ready for all the baby gear to be packaged up ready to be on sold or given away 

Yet I feel I am not ready.

It is an end of an era.

I don’t do end of era’s well. 

First days,  I can do without tears. The adrenalin and excitement keep me under control.

End of Eras... not so much.  

They make me sad, 

and sometimes a little mad.

So I may just take some time to reassure myself that I have indeed done the right thing for me and my family.

That while I will miss that sweet smell of a milk feed new born, it’s not in the plan for us.

And I’m okay with that.

Okay maybe I’m not okay with it today

but I will be.... in a little while. 

Pinata Party

 Well it’s been a week of back to reality. Did anyone else feel a come down after our bloggers weekend away?  After looking forward to it for four months...it was suddenly over.

And so I had a quiet week, Mr Zak zak was a little under the weather...so we chilled at home. 

I have been trying out my camera...mostly indoor shots because its finally started to rain in these here parts. I still haven't read the instructions yet. But I will!

 My first "foodie shot"

This is what you call a lazy cottage pie. My kids don't really like mashed potato...they must be the only kids on earth who don't! Seriously! So I just scallop layer the potatoes on top with a large sprinkling of cheese all over...bake until the potatoes are cooked and Viola. Dinner is served. Great for using left over mince. The picture is a before....there is no after....too many hungry tummies. But you get the idea. 

 Friday Fun-day.

And because it was too rainy to take my flash camera out we went clothes and shoe shopping for Friday fun-day instead. After an ice cream of course.

Posers!

Joe's Birthday....The do's and don'ts  

 I felt so terrible because it was actually Joe's birthday the day we flew back from Christchurch, and he really wanted a "friends party". He had a little something on the day with hubsta and his grand parents...but I had promised him a little party. The trouble was trying to come up with a theme for it. He isn't really into just one thing. So I finally decided on a pinata party after seeing a cool pinata cake on pintrest. It was only eight days past his birthday! Oops.

Getting stuff sorted the night before....but a little distracted

How NOT to do a pinata cake. 

Do not use a bundt cake pan. Use a deep dish pan like the instructions stated from here

 My dear hubsta reckons it looks like one of things people use to play the winter sport Curling! 

Not quite right! But tasted great.

Chocolate Pinata cake with "Skittles" 

Don't pick a date were you are the only responsible adult around with all these kids to your self.

Do enlist the help of a miss bossy pants to help run the games so mummy can take pictures and manage the overtired two year old too. 

Do make sure the house looks like a crepe paper monster had thrown up all over the place half and hour before the kids are ready to arrive. 

Do expect to help the fellow six/seven year old with the craft project

It was supposed to be their own home made pinata. And I had envisioned the each kid might like to bash their boxes at the end of the day...But they were so proud of it. So they put their lollies in and took them home. 

Great fun.  

Do introduce the kids to the 80's game sensation....TWISTER! 

It went with the colourful theme.

These guys were so agile...hardly any of them fell over!

DO make sure no one gets hit in the head with the cricket bat, especially the responsible grown up!

Happy Birthday Little Man !

Becoming....

Becoming....

I have been following a blogger called Miriam for a wee while now...and who I had the privilege to meet in real life recently. And I have admired a certain blog linky of hers from afar. I say "a far" because I never felt I could post anything worth while on her linky. You see the linky is "Becoming the mama I wanna Be (BMWB) and for some strange reason I feel that somehow I don't measure up in this area. The famous "mother guilt" rears its ugly head to the point where I am afraid to even put my self in the same category as someone like Miriam...who from afar...seems like such a wonderful mama.

And its not just her...other mothers in my church and wider social network... all seem to have it together...while I muddle along hoping and willing that my children will turn out okay and not need therapy when they grow up. I see bloggers who take time to do dress ups and colour coded meal themes while I'm here just trying to make it through a dinner time with out losing my cool because the two year old has put his drink into his dinner...again. Others who leave little love notes in their kids lunch boxes...while my kids are now making their own lunches. Other mothers who take time to play with paints and crafts...while I leave it all in the cupboard so my kitchen table doesn't get messy.

I constantly feel frazzled, impatient and quickly get angry.  

And while I don't rate myself as bad mother...I'm not great either. I would call my self a "Slightly Better than Mediocre" parent.

So I have been pondering about this BMWB situation. Perhaps instead of feeling inadequate about my parenting..what if I was inspired to be a better parent instead. And instead of feeling guilty about things I don't do...somehow try and figure out what kind of parent I DO want to be.
So I began to ponder some things about Becoming the Mama I Want to Be. And I kept finding myself thinking about "how I want my kids to be", which isn't the objective here. So here are somethings I'm going to try and work on in ME.

# Be a good listener instead of ignoring them
# Try and stay calm instead of getting angry
# Be encouraging instead of discouraging
# Be a better teacher instead of saying "go ask your father".
# Smile more instead of having a grumpy face
# Take more time to have fun.
# Make sure my kids feel loved, protected and cared for.
# Be more intentional and purposeful with my parenting.

Obviously I'm not going to change over night...but I'm happy to be a work in progress.

miss joy {2003}

Joe {2006}

Zak zak {2010}

Christchurch bloggers conference

{Kristy}

After planning this weekend away for months, it finally happened. 

And I was lucky enough to share it with one of my favourite people in the world Kristy! We looked forward to getting away for a giggly girls weekend away. 

After having the worst sleep with all the anticipation, we left Whangarei at 530am to make sure we made our flight from Auckland to Christchurch. We decided to stop off for a coffee and a snack...Dunkin donuts! 

We arrived right on time at the airport and found our other excited traveling companions; Rachel, Simone, Gail and Leonie.

{on the plane}

I was so excited to be flying again as it has been a long 7 years since I have been anywhere! I forgot how much I loved it. When I was a child I wanted to be an air hostess. We managed to pick seats that were all along the same row so we got to know Rachel a lot better as she was new blogger friend for me. 

We arrived to a lovely Christchurch airport and we proceeded through to find our luggage. It was such a cool feeling seeing our friend Widge waiting on the other side of the doors ready to pick us up. 

Unfortunately everyone else found their bags except me *sad face*. We left our details with the very nice baggage claim lady with our delivery address. 

We left the airport and found our accommodation. It was a pretty rugged looking place, however...you get what you pay for...and all nine of us managed to all stay under one roof in our own single bed. So... it was adequate...even if there were a few creepy construction workers next door. We had our own little party venue with 9 of us staying together, with Meghan, Sammy and Widge joining those of us who flew down together. 

After heading out for some supplies at the local mall, we headed out to the Craft Love Festival and then on to the lovely and very hospitable Miriam's house. With the fire cranking and a lovely assortment of supper...the weekend was getting off to a great start. 

We then headed to our home base to start the famous ONESIE Gang party....which ended up being a very small gang... At least I found a P.J twin. Simone and I rocked our purple P.Js.  

{PJ party}

The next morning we headed over to our conference venue. First on the agenda was the "panel", featuring my lovely friends Kristy and Simone...and also Deb and Megan. They did a great job answering all the questions that a lot of us ask.

{Panel}

Later for the electives...I picked the more social type ones...handing out having coffee and the afternoon shopping experience.  Our lovely tour guide Tania took us to a new place called The Columbo where we enjoyed a lovely salad lunch and the best macrons I have ever had. We perused around there and then left for the Re:Start Mall in the CBD. It was really buzzing with people and  looked like a great hang out spot in the center of building projects going on around it. 

{CBD}

We proceeded to walk to the famous cathedral and past the Bridge of Remembrance that can not be crossed at the moment.  

The Avon river where a couple of people enjoy a "Punting" ride

I was keen to see the new card board church which happened to be right next to the white seat Remembrance Space. There are no words for a spot like that. Just sad. 

Later that evening we headed in the "party van" to our dinner venue. A lovely and lively place called Winnie Bagoes  

On our last day we woke early, packed and headed out to breakfast at the best cafe ever! C1 Espresso. I loved this place. Miriam told me that their last place had been destroyed in the Earth quake and they had rebuilt their business in the building opposite.  It has this automatic door out to the kitchen area that was cleverly disguised as a bookshelf! And a water fountain made out of a Singer sewing machine! (I forgot to take a picture of that, darn it. ) 

After breakfast we headed up the the stairs to the roof of the building where you had a great view of the city.

{#1 Me, Miriam, Kristy, #2 Leonie, Simoney, Katie #3 Widge, Kristy #4 Widge and I}

This weekend really was a whirlwind..and was over so soon! Meeting people like Widge who I have had an online relationship with for a couple of years now was so surreal. Its like you already know each other like old friends. Cementing other relationships I had already built with the Auckland crew and Meghan from Wellington by staying together was also a major highlight. Putting  faces to blogs I have been following and also being inspired by the other creative bloggers was great too. I also happened to by chance meet a  blogger (Kelly) that went to school with...such a small world!

{Widge, Kristy, Meghan, Rachel, Me, Gail. and Sammy (Missing Leonie?!)}

Seeing Christchurch city after watching all the earth quake stories on the news for the last couple of years and hearing first hand accounts of peoples experiences during the earthquake was poignant. I am so thankful to the Christchurch blogging team who did such a wonderful job of pulling off such a great event. The goodie bags, making sure delgates had rides from the airport and places to lie their heads and the spot prizes..all done on a shoestring budget and all voluntary time. You guys did an exemplary job. 

{Simone, Cat,Miriam,Kristy,Widge,Leonie and Meghan}